Sunday, September 12, 2010


I've been fighting a lot of battles lately, just as we all have been, and last night was such an amazing eye opener for me. Me and two of my closest friends sat outside in her yard and talked about everything. And I mean everything. How we felt about ourselves, our lives, each other, where we are, where we want to be...everything. I'll never forget their words. The words on their lips when they said how important everyday was. And how much they love me. And how important it is to stay true to yourself, all the time. No matter what happens. I've never felt so closely bonded to people that I had only known for a few years. We swore on a sisterhood over some chocolate cake. We wiped away the others tears and squeezed their hand when their voice cracked. We swore on a friendship of truth and care and late night meetings when someone was in need. To always have those people we knew would love us even if they knew the ugly. Because I still only see beauty in both of them.
I'm terrible with looking someone in the eye and being able to tell them everything that I feel. That kind of vulnerability is something that I do all I can to stay far away from. I don't let myself cry in front of people if there's anything I can do to stop myself. So, my friends talked for me because they can look at me and see exactly how I feel and what I'm thinking. No matter how hard I try to hide it. Those are the kind of friends that everyone needs to have. Genuine care and understanding is the only way to ever feel totally comfortable with yourself and everyone around you.
I suggest that everyone takes time out of their lives to create a sisterhood or a brotherhood or whatever it is that you feel like you might need in your life. It's extremely rewarding.


April said...

Congrats on finding that kind of friendship. :)

Cassidy said...

What you described was what it was like for me while I was in treatment. The girls there, who are now my dearest, closest friends, all were struggling to overcome the same thing. I always felt so loved and care for there. We would have group therapys were everything would come out; our feelings, lives, beliefs, values. What we thought about, about ourselves, about other people. We allowed ourselves to be vulnerable. And the best thing about it was that no one judged anyone. It was okay to be fragile. And it brought us closer together, and strengthed our bond as friends. I used to be afraid to express emotions or be truthful in regards to how I was feeling. I was obsessed with portraying an image of perfection. I wanted to have the perfection body, the perfect grades, the perfect clothes, and the perfect life. I was always composed and in control. In control of everything in my life. Even though, in reality, everything was falling apart. I was losing friends, losing trust, pushing myself farther away from my family, and slowly destroying my health and myself. Sorry, I got a little into that, but I guess all I'm trying to say, is that emotions are what allow human connections. It's pathetic how society has pressured people to not feel comfortable to feel their emotions in public or express themselves.

Courtney K. said...

Thank you so much for sharing that story. It's always inspiring to hear from someone who has been through a lot, but can end everything on such a positive note. Truly, thank you so much for sharing that with me.

Dandelionkisses said...

Wow. How wonderful.
I wish I had that.