A New Beginning.

This year has been a roller coaster. I have had some of my best and some of my worst moments. I have accomplished so much in only 365 days. Starbucks workers now know me by name and can predict my order. My friends can sense my mood. I have moved forward, and then fallen right back into the routine. I have bettered myself as a student, spending hours every evening reading and studying. I have learned to let loose and dance like no ones watching. I have explored New York City. I have pushed people I love away.


I saw the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. And I released a magazine with Maddie. I opened up this blog. I have begun researching psychology and sociology. I lettered in Varsity Swim. I've bought a pocket-sized book called Women Who Dared.

2011 will undoubtedly be an essential year for my future. In less than a year I must make the decision of what college I wish to attend. Which will be one of the biggest decisions that I have had to make in my life so far. This next year is when things start to count. My ACT scores, my GPA and class rank, my passionate love for fashion and art.

There's no looking back from this point on.

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." -Helen Keller.

Happy New Year to all!! Xoxox.

Red Cheetah.

Me and my friend Maddie spent the day running around taking photos with a bundle of 6 bright red balloons (Sue, Betty, Marissa, Dave, Willow and Harold). Hope you enjoy what we put together.

Tis The Season.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Today is my 16th Christmas, and it is meeting up to everything I could have imagined. This morning I woke up to find my little brother resting on the couch saying that he has been staring at the presents with wide eyes since 3 AM. The rest of us waited until 8 AM to drag ourselves out of bed to join him.

Every year we tear down the stockings first. I dug through mine to find layers of chocolates and a few knit hats tucked up in between, along with an ornament of the Eiffel Tower hidden at the toes of the oversized sock.

Next we turn on Christmas music and gather around in the living room. My dad turns to each of us with a golden box saying that Santa must have snuck through the chimney the following evening and left them waiting for us until the morning. In that box I found Estee Lauder makeup in a shiny golden case, with a travel-sized makeup bag that has 4 different kinds of makeup brushes.

Along with this I found books, a fuzzy scarf, a cheetah print dress, gloves, and beautiful perfume bottles for me to sneak some Bath & Body Works scents into, all while pretending to own the finest vintage perfumes.

Tonight I am attending a family Christmas party at my Grandma's place. This is my first year to spend Christmas with her, and I can not wait to do so!

How is everyone spending their holidays this season?

My Love.

My love, leave yourself behind

Beat inside me, leave you blind

My love, you have found peace

You were searching for release

You gave it all into the call

You took a chance and

You took the fall for us

You came thoughtfully

Loved me faithfully

You taught me honor

You did it for me

Tonight you will sleep for good

You will wait for me, my love

Now I am strong, you gave me all

You gave all you had

And now I am home

My love, leave yourself behind

Beat inside me, leave you blind

My love, look what you can do

I am mending, I'll be with you

You took my hand and added a plan

You gave me your heart

I asked you to dance with me

You loved honestly

Did what you could release

Ah, ooh

I know in peace you'll go

I hope relief is yours

Now I am strong, you gave me all

You gave all you had

And now I am home

My love, leave yourself behind

Beat inside me, I'll be with you

My love by Sia is one of the most amazing songs I have ever had the pleasure of listening to. It's been on repeat all week. Hope you enjoy. Xoxo.

Carols.

Break is almost here. Only 7 tests away from a much needed time of relaxation. And I decided to make some goals of things to accomplish over break.

1. Read. Complete all of the books I checked out for school research, as well as personal books I have not yet had time for.

2. Re-watch every Christmas episode of Friends, every Star Wars episode, and every Harry Potter movie.

3. Buy tons of fuzzy sweaters. TONS. I plan on thrifting a lot over break and I need to be sure to stock up on sweaters for layering. No one likes being cold.

4. Become a Gold Member at Starbucks. I have 13 out of the 30 points needed, so I would have to be drinking a lot of coffee, but I feel like it's worth it.

5. Paint more. I rarely paint, and next semester in school I start my painting class. So, I figured it never hurts to get a head start.

6. Bake cookies. It's a tradition, need I say more.

7. Clean out my room. It's becoming a disaster in here and I really need to work on getting that under control one of these days..but I sort of like it like this.

8. Solve the Rubix Cube. I've tried before and failed, but I really would be able to say that I can complete it.

9. Make Christmas themed music videos with my friends.

10. Be happy and carefree. Tis the season to be jolly, after all.

Xoxox.

Eve.

Something about black and white photographs is so beautiful. It's classic. And lovely.

MissFits.

Hello everyone! I have an exciting announcement. Me and my dear friend Maddie have created our very own feminist fashion magazine that we like to call MissFits. You can find it online by clicking here. We had decided to start this magazine months ago and have finally put the finishing touches on it and released it for your eyes to see. Soon there will be a print copy available for order.

This magazine is feminist in the sense that it is a collaboration of people who refuse to conform and who are willing to take a stand. MissFits is for those who believe that tomorrow is a new day. MissFits is created because the future is female.

If you are interested in this project and would like to write an article, then please shoot us an e-mail at missfitsmag@hotmail.com.

All I Feel For You Is Love.

It scares me how easily everyone can move on so fast. How what once meant so much can be forgotten like it meant nothing.

A Day No Turkeys Would Die.

Thanksgiving is coming up so soon. You know what that means; no school, plenty of family and food, and just a good time. This Thanksgiving is my first year as a Vegetarian. Well a Pescatarian actually. I still eat seafood for the sake of my health, but that does not replace Turkey. I'm really excited for this though. I'm going to be having Mac & Cheese as a substitute, and I can still enjoy the mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, muffins, apple pie and appetizer dishes. Sounds like plenty of food to me! Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I am thankful for all of you.

Mixing and Matching.

Upon hearing about a challenge called 30 for 30, which hundred of bloggers around the world participate in, I have decided to become a remixer myself. In this contest you chose 30 pieces of clothing, counting shoes, but not accessories, and limit yourself to being able to use only those 30 pieces for 30 days. The point of this is to increase your ability to mix and match and understanding of your own closet, and how on those days you say "I have nothing to wear", that with a little creativity, you have countless outfits to experiment with.

I just started this on the 15th of November. And I must go through the 18th of December, because I have a 3 day trip with the school in which I must be dressed in a very specific dress code.

Day 1:

Striped black and white skirt.

Red and black tank top.

Grey cardigan.

Black knit tights.

Black ballerina flats.

Day 2:

Dark wash skinny jeans.

Green tank top with detail at neckline.

Brown faux leather jacket.

Brown ballerina flats.

Day 3:

Grey turtle-esque neck dress.

Blue button down shirt worn as cardigan.

Black knit tights.

Black ballerina flats.

I have decided to not include the black knit tights as an item because this challenge was originally created for the Summer and Spring, and if I was in either of those seasons, I would wear the same outfit minus the tights. So with the issue of warmth at hand, I am counting those as accessories.

You Remind Me.

As one grows to understand life less and less, one learns to live it more and more.

Stripes in my eyes.

We had nice weather this week, so me and Maddie took advantage of it and snuck into a field and shot some photographs.

I've been really into stripes right now, and thrifted a few simple t-shirts. I love them already. Paired with a high waisted skirt, anything is possible.

Cold Water.

It is such a difficult decision. I need to work things out, talk over, decide, convince..

Swim team starts this coming Monday & I have so many conflicting emotions. Does my family want me to? Getting up at 4 Am for 4 days a week is pretty exhausting. 19.5 hours of my week dedicated to swimming back and forth, and back and forth.

But, I've done stuff like this for years now. It would be weird to just not show up one day. Wouldn't it? Or would it?

This is what is going through my mind when I try to decide if I should sign up for swim. I don't want to let my swimming friends down. To drop out of a family I am so closely bonded to.

But, I have to do what is best for me as an individual. I need to do things that will look good when signing up for art school to work in fashion. Taking a few extra sewing or art classes instead wouldn't be so bad.

I have to make up my mind and my families mind tonight. Stressed? Yes. Excited? Yes. Ready? No.

For You.

For the dancers. For the lonely hearted. For the free spirits. For the dreamers. For the tired. For the young. For the free. For the scared. For the open minded. For the over achievers. For the athletes. For the workers. For the struggling. For the hungry. For the optimistic. For the clueless.

You are beautiful.

For the academic scholars. For the self conscious. For the willing. For the artists. For the weary. For the broken. For the strong. For the depressed. For the missed. For the transexuals. For the individuals. For the girls. For the old. For the love birds. For the cutters. For the alcoholics. For the beginners.

You are loved.

For the boys. For the druggies. For the newly weds. For the retired. For the sleepy. For the wishful thinkers. For the tears shed. For the suffering. For the painters. For the bloggers. For the couch potatoes. For the trainers. For the teachers. For the gay. For the universe. For the 'bad kids'.

You are special.

No matter who you are, there is a life ahead of you. Life to be lived. Don't live like you will be forgotten, live like you will be remembered. Live today like it's your last. Live tomorrow like its your first. Don't take advantage of this beautiful mystery.

Never forget that feeling as a child, learning the ABC's, or how to ride the 'big kid' bicycle. Knowledge is a gift.

Xoxo.

It's Been A Long Time.

November. This month for me is a whirlwind of emotions. The wind gently tosses your hair across your face as you walk with a hot cup of coffee and a scarf sloppily tied around your neck. Trench coats and knee high gray boots keep you warm and safe from the cold air circling around you. Dancing leaves mock you with a sense of lightness and freedom you will never find.

You look back and remember the warmth of the summer sun on your bare skin and diving into the lake that now chills you to the touch. Soon this will be frozen over, with a neat layer of ice and snow, easily cracked and treacherous.

Christmas music is on the radio, in my opinion, far too early. Winter sports meetings at school are being announced, causing that dreadful recognition that soon I will have to decide, to swim, or not to swim. It's been a while since I've dove into a pool at 5 AM for early morning practices, willingly taking every stroke the coach has demanded of me. But, it's also been a while since I've seen so many people join together, as a team.

Halloween is over. Kids are stashing away their candy in their rooms, so that late at night they can enjoy the satisfaction of eating forbidden sweets. Pillow cases are emptied of their yearly sugar and placed carefully back into place. Rotten pumpkins are thrown away, wasted, dead. It's all over.

Now, we wait. Wait for Thanksgiving. For mashed potatoes and green beans. For family and music. For celebrating. All we can do is wait.

Stop Haunting Me.

Photos of me by Maddie.

You can't hear me and you wouldn't listen if you could. Yet, to me you are everything. Just know that I miss you. So terribly much. I have lost all sense of direction. I walk with the compass pointing south. Further, and further from who I should be.

Halloween: Take One.

I'm being Edie Sedgwick for Halloween this year and I have 2 parties that I am attending, so I am going to wear different Edie-esque outfits, hair and makeup to each one. My first party happened last night and this is how I turned out. Big earrings, stripped black & white dress, black opaque tights and a big faux fur coat to arrive in. It was tons of fun.
What is everyone else doing/being for Halloween this year?
Xoxo.

And Hearing Your Voice Gives Me Hope.

Seasonal.

I've always loved to wear dresses and skirts. I always feel better and more confident when I look nice. The leaves are changing colors, the wind is picking up and everyone's ordering hot coffee at Starbucks instead of the usual summer specials. Sweaters are being pulled out of the back of closets and tall socks are being put under open toe shoes. New seasons give a reason for new clothes. On sunnier days summer dresses are being paired with slouchy cardigans, and on those chilling days our bodies are not prepared for, tights and knitted scarves are thrown on.

This is when we toss our hair over our shoulders and cuddle up to friends in order to keep ourselves as warm as possible. These are the days I'm ready for. However, I am not prepared for blasting cold snow storms, sleds pulled by reindeer and shoveling the snow off of the driveway.

All images from lookbook.nu

Live & Let Live.

There is so much life to live. Think about it, what if the people who were involved in early feminist movements would have given up on equal rights? Where would the world be? What if Rosa Parks wouldn't have sat on that bus that night? Where would the world be? What if William Shakespeare hadn't written all of those magnificent plays? Where would the world be? Think about the impact that one person can have on so many other people. And the love and hope every single person is capable of spreading to people that they don't even know. Albert Einstein. Pablo Picasso. Socrates. John Lennon. Me. You.
Never let anything or anyone slow you down or keep you from reaching your dreams. Never let life put you down to a level that you don't even want to keep going. Never.
Always let happy moments push you forward with life. Always let the hardest times you face push you to be a better person with a meaning behind every act, every sentence, every breath you take. Always.
Just think about. Think about your life. Everyone has those moments where what they do and who they've become pushes them to keep going to succeed. And to make everyone around them happy and inspired to have a purposeful life. We all have a purpose to live. No one can take that from you. But, no one can give you that purpose except for yourself. We aren't alone in this life that we live, but we are responsible for everything that we do.
So, live life with no regrets. Wake up with a smile on your face and stay up late soaking in every star and every late night text from your best friend.
Live with beauty. Live with acceptance. And most importantly, live with purpose.

I'm Not Sorry

I don't want to post images of girls smiling in colorful dresses. I want to post something where you look at the girl and you want to know the story behind the face. You see her and you want to tell her it's going to be ok. I want one of those posts today. The kind that makes your heart ache because you understand their pain, and you never want any one else to know such a deep pain.